A mother's pain

What is it with mothers... we can't  take the pain of our children? I feel very emotional and painful (very much) when I see my children in pain. I can't stand it. The feeling maybe too much, like Over Acting but no... I don't so. There is something that binds mothers and their children, more than an instinct... another wonder; considered as a work of God. 

We went to an ophthalmologist last Sunday. My daughter's left eye was irritated... She was actually hiding the pain... I knew and felt it. I was deeply sorry that I wasn't there to protect her and I never knew the cause of her pain. Her eyes were always itchy, there was a discharge, often times it was swelling and watery. Actually, we have visited the Doctor twice, but due to unavoidable circumstances, he failed to show up. Until Sunday came... We went there with his brother Sean and a male companion. 

I was talking to myself not to freak out and cry. Knowing my child, she'll be afraid. Just like mom, afraid of everything...(hehehe!) 

As I talked to the doctor, I feel serenity and calmness in my heart, though I was worried. The feeling of a mother that you can't express because you're afraid and scared for your child... As he direct us to this eye machine, Danealle was still behave and acting okay, but I can hear her heart pounding very hard. She experiencing goosebumps and jitters. She was directed to put her chin on the slit lamp machine. I was carrying her, because she was too small and was very scared. 

Slit Machine ( that's not Danealle and Dr. Yap)

 I told the Doctor that there was something in her eye- cornea and iris which is colored red. I was thinking it a blood clot, maybe she was puked by her friend while playing. I really don't have the idea what was in her eye. What I know is it has to be removed... or I'll die worrying! As he examine my daughter's left eye... He suddenly said " It's a PLASTIC. not blood or anything. Its a plastic." Then I thought "DUH?" Are you fooling me?... Then time flies fast, he asked "Let's remove it." My reaction was OMG! Suddenly there was a rush of blood all over my body, as if I was plunged in to a swimming pool full of Ice... An ICEBERG is approaching. Then I cried. I cried so hard. I was feeling so uneasy for Danealle. My worried grew because she might feel anxious. Just putting an eye drop made her cry and agitated, what more???

The Doctor assured me that it will be a very simple procedure and she will be given an eye anesthesia, so she won't feel anything. Actually it was not a surgery, Doctor Yap ( a dashing debonair) used a cotton buds to rub on her left eye. All he did was to rub smoothly, until the plastic sticks on the buds. If Danealle was cooperative enough, it would have lasted for 5 minutes... After a long try of babying  my daughter, the Dr. Yap started asking me if she can lie down in the bed... before that, she was wrapped in a malong-type of cloth and she was held by her father. She started crying boisterously and shouted "susuka na ako." I was crying. I was holding Sean at that moment. Sean was looking at her sister and started crying too. I felt the pain and nervousness she dealing, but I can't do anything. It is for her own sake. After 15 long, painstaking minutes... huh! I was relieved! Done with the procedure. Nealle was still crying. She was being asked by Dr. Yap if they are still friends? and with no hesitation she replied "No" then we all laughed except her. She cried until we got out of the Clinic. She suddenly said "Mommy, laro ako."

Why does it hurts so much, when our children are in pain? maybe its because they come from us, literally, and we are very protective of them because they are our life.

Danealle's eye... now okay!